Beautifully stated and perfectly true. We each die a little death ourselves with the loss of a loved one. I used to say after my husband died, the angels had left the house and their going was palpable. Well done, here. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. The way you describe your house after your husband died, the feeling of the angels' leaving being palpable ... so poignant and authentic. Thank you also for sharing that ...
I appreciate your comments Charles; this is a form I like but am still struggling with and these lines in particular are ones that I favoured but was unsure of - so it's very cool to hear from someone as accomplished as you, that they're appropriate here ...
Thanks for persevering with the "captcha" and for your kind comments Viv ... I like this form but find it challenging so am happy when I finally produce something.
Beautifully stated and perfectly true. We each die a little death ourselves with the loss of a loved one. I used to say after my husband died, the angels had left the house and their going was palpable. Well done, here. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words. The way you describe your house after your husband died, the feeling of the angels' leaving being palpable ... so poignant and authentic. Thank you also for sharing that ...
DeleteIt all begins with the strength of the first couplet. Wonderfully crafted.
ReplyDeleteThank you ... I consider this very high praise coming from you Sam.
Deleteyep that is exactly what it feels like...a stone...def a nice play on the triolet...
DeleteThanks Brian - I like when a description matches someone else's take ...
Deletei agree with the comment about the first couplets
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verification makes it really hard to comment. you'd get more comments if you turned it off
Your command of the form is excellent. The emotion is so strong, stretching boundaries of the structure. These lines really stucknwith me:
ReplyDeleteGrief leaves the heart
Its chambers fall apart
Leaving behind a hole
Stark, true, evocative of the truth in the experience.
I appreciate your comments Charles; this is a form I like but am still struggling with and these lines in particular are ones that I favoured but was unsure of - so it's very cool to hear from someone as accomplished as you, that they're appropriate here ...
DeleteThis is so well written and beautiful. I've felt that but never read any poem that expressed it as well as this! Wow.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much MM - you are very kind!
DeleteSuch depth of feeling in your writing...grief is heavy...
ReplyDeleteYour comment is very much appreciated ... thank you for stopping by.
DeleteYou did the triolet form honour with your words. The opening couplet is so expressive of pure emotion - very difficult to do.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was too good to last - Catchpa is back in place today after a commenter's dream day yesterday.
ReplyDeleteThanks for persevering with the "captcha" and for your kind comments Viv ... I like this form but find it challenging so am happy when I finally produce something.
Deletelike stone upon the soul...what an excellent picture for grief..
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia; I'm glad you think so ...
DeleteInteresting - I like the idea of grief going from the heart to the soul.
ReplyDeleteAs do I Mary ... like the idea of grief going from the heart to the soul ... thanks for stopping by
DeleteI'd never seen this one before, but it's spot on...
ReplyDeletePearl
This is just lovely, Sharon. "Sets like stone upon the soul," indeed. Gorgeous.
ReplyDelete