No one would think just by looking at you
That your health was anything but robust
That deep within the marrow of your bones
Blooming like some secret hideous flower
A cancer grew unchecked
Perhaps it was your hard-fought and won battle
With this disease that so colours all the rest ...
We were almost packed and ready for a long over-due holiday
When I heard the clatter down in the kitchen
I was upstairs in the bedroom and went running
To find you sprawled—your coffee mug smashed
On the floor beside you
I remember thinking first how your hipbones were jutting
Through the denim of your jeans, how you could still stand
To gain a few pounds— before noticing your hand
Curled claw-like on your chest
And the stillness there
Both hand and chest, motionless.
A massive heart-attack they said
You never knew what hit you...
That made two of us
Today I stand at the window
Gazing through grief's curtain
Wondering what to do next
The snow is almost gone
Down by your garden shed
And crocuses are starting to poke up.