In the greater scheme of things there are chances
That skid by us without coming close simply because
Of the way we've aligned ourselves inside a daily grind
Precluding anything in any way ad hoc or spontaneous
As if, if it's not imprinted on the inside of our eyelids
From the moment we emerge, the contrast between
What should happen and what might, is just too great
It's as if we buy into this great cosmic hook as soon
As we're born, that there's a contract with the universe
And all the i's are dotted, the t's are crossed,
There is no way out
No way to just clear the slate and start over
No matter how much we might yearn to, quick as a wink
Snip the strings, set our molecules vibrating anew
Slip back into the cobalt sea and re-emerge ... we are
Pretty much screwed
S.E.Ingraham©
Sunday Whirl 55
There are days when I feel this way, and days when all I see are opportunities. Thoughtful write. I like the voice.
ReplyDeleteYou had me pretty well early on, then we got the "great cosmic hook," and I'm thinking: yep. "There is no way out," that sealed it, so the last line was pure gravy.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful write - it has a "hopeless" quality that is deceptive, because in the end we might be screwed, but we aren't hopeless! We might be anxious about finding the difference between what will happen and what might happen - but in that there is still an element of possibility, a bit of hope.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was well done, and that pesky word "cobalt" (which I had a great deal of difficulty incorporating) you handled very well. Thanks for sharing!
Here is mine:
http://paulatohlinecalhoun1951.wordpress.com/2012/05/06/receiving-birth/
Lady, I LOVE your poetry (and Poet Tree). I enjoy being in your circle and having you in mine. Yep, you're right...we're pretty much screwed!
ReplyDeleteLOL... Pretty much screwed. Nice analogy. Love the images this invoked and, I completely forgot this was a whirl wordle. It's said we humans only use not even one third of our brains, imagine what we would be capable of if we could use 100% of it! Amazing things eh! No wonder we were made in God's image when you realise that, we are ALL creators in a way.
ReplyDeleteGreat write, and thanks for stopping by mine.
Love the play of sounds off of one another in here, Sharon. Especially because that playfulness, that willingness to let the words do what they want, belies what the poem is actually saying (aligned with the daily grind...snip the strings, slip back...) Love the juxtaposition of that. Great work.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Sharon. I love the internal rhyming and vivid images.
ReplyDeleteWith that ending my hands are tied, but you have me smiling . I am hearing a bit of sarcasm in your witty little wordle and loving it. Did you take this photo too? It is quite nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks all for coming to the Treehouse - this wordle went somewhere I completely wasn't expecting (you know how that happens sometimes?) but wasn't unhappy about ... it's just that way some days, not always but some days and yes, the tone was quite sarcastic, again unintentionally - and yes teri - the photo is one of mine; I have a thing for photographing tree tops ... thanks again all.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes there IS no way to clear the slate and start over and we just have to move forward from where we are. i like what you did with the wordle words!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you would consider getting rid of word verification. Most people have gotten rid of this. It makes it hard to comment. (I have Blogger too and got rid of it a long time ago.)
Love the internal rhyme (my own chosen weapon). You make the wordle words dance to your own music. That is always a pleasure to witness. Thanks for visiting my site,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Two things first...The 4th installment different word list here:
ReplyDeletehttp://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/sea-escape-4-for-monday-melting-16.html
Along the same lines...you might enjoy
(also a different prompt site)
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/04/dotted-is-and-crossed-ts.html
I often think if I could just slip back into and breath within the cobalt sea. Guess that's why I wrote a few Mermaid Verse.
But all is not safe there either...The screws just have different shapes. My son has a T-shirt... Sarcasm...Just one of the services I offer!
Thanks for your visit...Did you get to also see 1 and 2 of this as of yet unnamed series? All the links are at the end of the pieces. I'm not sure how much room one gets on a page to post them all in the same place. And creating that alternate page in ones' blog doesn't allow for comments.
Cheers and thanks for sharing your poetic voice with wordles!
I know it's only Tuesday, but I feel delinquent in my reading!
ReplyDeleteOh, how many times I'd liked to have snipped the strings...
I echo the words already shared...nicely wordled.
~Paula
ha i surely hope not...or i am screwed...i def would much rather live outside the rut...really nice rhythm to your words...
ReplyDeleteA great take on a subject that oft bothers us philosophizing mortals. :) That ending really made it for me.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd care to take a read or even join in, here's a few works in our own little poetry community :) -- Spotlighting the Poets
Love the ending. Started my day with a laugh. If you can find a copy of cummimgs' 'pity this busy monster, man unkind' he shares your view.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Mary, Elizabeth, Jules, Paula, Brian, Billy and Margo - I didn't get back here until just now so am a bit behind answering comments but do appreciate that you came to read this bit of wordling and made some insightful remarks. Thanks again.
ReplyDelete