Declining the Tom Howard Poetry Prize...an explanation
"The higher one hoists oneself aloft, the further one
has to plunge ..."
I was hoping to put this off until I heard back from
the contest judges but since I know what my decision is, I think I better say
something before I get any more undeserved accolades.
After all the excitement over this win last night, I was
pretty devastated around noon today when my husband casually mentioned, after
reading the winning poem and saying how good it was, "even if the
capital's not Vancouver".
Now, this probably won't make sense to any of you but my
poem depends a good deal on the accuracy of the capital of British Columbia
being correct, and I screwed it up royally in this poem and have pointed it
out, and obviously, several times in the poem. I doubt that everyone would spot
it but I know most Canadians will and certainly the poets I write with here
.
The more I read over the poem, the more glaring the
discrepancies appeared and while my husband felt horrible of course, I had to
hand it to him - 1) I'm glad he spotted the error before the poem was published
(to have the blowback from this kind of error might have really undone me;
winningwriters - I may have said this before - has over 40,000 readers and over
a million "hits" a year) and 2) I wish I had had my first and best
fan and critic read this poem before I sent it (Terry generally reads
everything I write). Lesson learned, I hope.
I sent a letter to the judges this afternoon explaining my
situation and offering to decline the prize and withdraw my poem. I know this
is not unheard of as poets have withdrawn poems before if they've sold them
while waiting for results, so I'm sure there won't be a problem on that count.
I'm not sure they've had anyone withdraw a poem on these grounds.
As Terry keeps telling me, I need to remember I won second
place with my poem so some judges read it and felt it was good. The reason I'm
withdrawing it and turning down the prize money is a judgement call that I'm
making and really has more to do with me as a person and less to do with how
good a poet I am. After I stop feeling so crappy, I will try to remember that.
Sigh.
So sorry to hear that, Sharon, but I completely understand. I wouldn't want a factually-flawed poem with my name on it either.
ReplyDeleteBut I am still totally bummed for you.
I echo, Linda for she said exactly what I was thinking...you're right to choose as such. Hearts and hugs to you Sharon.
DeleteThanks Linda - glad you "get" it. I'll live.
ReplyDeleteSharon, I read about your win on fb, and now this... I am sorry, but I can't say I blame you one bit.
ReplyDeletePamela
Lady, you've just catapulted yourself to the top of my chart. I'm sorry you had to decline, but your dignity and self-esteem just took a major boost. I admire your honesty and humility. I'm sure your husband knows he has a bigger winner than what the poetry prize could provide. I applaud you, Sharon.
ReplyDeleteI agree "a thousand percent" with Walt, and could not express it any better than he just did.
DeleteYou are one class act, Sharon. It's a privilege to be associated with you.
Sharon, As hard(frustrating)as the win/decline situation is. The FACT remains that YOU ARE A WINNER. I believe that you made the right choice, and I admire you for doing so. ...and you saved yourself a lot of sleepless nights. :) You are doing good, keep it up. Marjory M Thompson
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ReplyDeleteI am as straight an arrow as they come - but this tops my "morality" charts - did you not hear of 'poetic license" or better yet a simple * (that you are aware of the correct capital). I can fully understand the need for factual accuracy but declining a prize that was judged, when a simple asterisk could correct the error - is IMHO beyond ethics and into something else entirely (what I am not certain - now if you realized that you had entered the contest illegally or something of that nature I would understand - but this - mhmm not so much). Again, declination or acceptance your POEM was judged a winner - were these judges from out of the country? Love, pearl...
ReplyDeleteapologies for the 2 deletes. I was typing so quickly and posting so vigorously there were all sorts of errors....
ReplyDeleteMhmmmm .... I guess the more I think about it - the more uncomfortable I would be in having a factual inaccuracy - but I believe I would be chagrined but not feel the imperative to decline that I would feel if let's say i discovered that the prize award was either named for or awarded by a group with whom I had moral differences. I think that we are hardest when an error is committed by ourselves! (Sharon, I am curious what would you do if I had written a winning poem and you spotted the error? after I had won?)
ReplyDeleteMhmm having said all this - I think Andrew's comment was most loving and compassionate - to paraphrase ... "lots he could say but for now he would sit in the ashes with you..."
As Charlie Brown would say ARGGGGHHHH or something along that order...
You took the high road. Your poem did come in #2 in a contest that offered big prizes, so you will always have that. Also, once you had accepted the prize, there might have been voices pointing out the error & claiming you didn't deserve the prize - something no one needs. My congratulations still stand. You won 2nd. place in a big contest. No one can complain about that.
ReplyDeleteLove, Marianv
You're a winner for doing what you did Sharon. First: the poetry's obviously top-notch (else you wouldn't have been selected); and second, it takes massive amounts of class to do this. I would have made the exact same decision, without a doubt.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for doing the right thing. You still won 2nd place. I once wrote an article and made a mistake in number of years b/t hurricanes. I notified the editor but it was too late. She said she'd try, but nothing was ever done (it had been published by another agency). Now you won't have to worry about any of that. Congratulations, again, on your well-deserved win, Sharon.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your kind and thoughtful comments.
ReplyDeletePearl, if it had been an error that I considered one of poetic license, or something I could use an * to amend, believe me I would have ...
A few minutes ago I received a most effusive and somewhat enlightening letter from the main judge of this contest in response to my note of withdrawal to him.
He begins by thanking me very much for drawing this error to their attention.
Then, he goes on to tell me it took him three tries to write and tell me of my win as he thought there was something off about the poem,kept re-reading it, then told himself to stop being an idiot, and sent me the congratulatory letter.
Aside - Pearl, I think you asked, were the judges from out of the country? In a word. Yes. USA judges. Canadian facts. Easy to miss obviously - I missed them myself.
The judge goes on to say if he was me he would make the necessary corrections and enter the contest they have running right now ... interesting. I will probably try doing that ... it will be a bit of a different poem but I think I can keep most of it intact. The results are way down the line but I can live with that.
If I had any doubts about withdrawing, the last line in his letter let me know that I've done the right thing.
"Thank you very, very much for bring these factual inaccuracies to our attention."
Oh, and one last question that Pearl raised and I want to answer - if I discovered an error another poet had made after they had won a prize? No-one would ever learn it from me, including and especially the poet who wrote the poem. What good would that serve?
Again, thanks to all of you for your unwavering support always but especially in this bit of a trying time. It has meant more than I can adequately express.
Love Sharon
Peace of mind is worth a lot!
ReplyDeleteGood-night and peaceful dreams Sharon!:)
Ah great minds and all that Patricia - my earlier comment vanished - I promise I was not plagiarizing :)
DeleteArgh - my comment disappeared ! Thank you for addressing my particular remarks / your point is now crystal clear -you have actually won a prize that is priceless (and so wonderfully synchronistic that Patricia alludes to same) you have declined $2000 and gathered the limitless bounty of peace of mind and the sweet sleep of collected integrity - I am proud to have you as a friend - sleep well -dream sweetly -Do you feel the hugs and the enormous respect for your talent which may spring from higher sources and for your decisions which are yours alone to choose . Goodnight -
ReplyDeleteSharon, admiration, heartfelt sympathy and approbation, all wrapped up in a great big hug are winging their way to you.
ReplyDeleteTerrific succinct comment Viv!
DeleteHey Sharon, I admire the hard decision you took and agree with you. I would feel terrible in your place, too - having a prize-winning poem containing an error. Uhm, still, I've been thinking the judges must have spotted that... Or not.
ReplyDeleteEither way, I think you are doing the right thing. You will win other prizes as well, and after all, you did win this one.
Peace of mind, yes... Ditto Patricia above!
Hugs!
MK
Hi Mariya - I truly did not co-opt Patricia's peace of mind comment - my earlier comment did not post ...
DeleteOh, Sharon. I'm so terribly disappointed for you. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so, so sorry. But I would feel the same way you do.
And yes, DO remember that it won. SUCH an accomplishment.
Sharon, I'm just so impressed on so many counts. Do, please, fix the poem and enter it as they suggested - it sounds like a poem that needs to be seen, and it sounds like you can fix the factual issue.
ReplyDeleteIna
Ah, Sharon, you've done a grand thing here. Your integrity shines. I can understand the disappointment, not so much in have to admit to an error, but rather a disappointment with yourself for having made the error in the first place. We're always harder on ourselves than others are on us.
ReplyDeleteThat you took this step says a great deal, and that you're willing to rework the poem and resub it to the next contest after withdrawing from this win, that's class and a true poet in my book.
Good luck with this next round. You'll do fine, my friend.
Oh wow! Bitter sweet in the extreme!
ReplyDeleteSharon, I'm with you, both in the rationale and the disappointment. I hope they will accept the revised poem, they should, especially since you have done the honest honorable thing. And congratulations for the award, in spite of everything that is very exciting :-) Hugs!
ReplyDeletePS with respect to your quote, I disagree--I wouldn't say you'd fallen (plunged) I'd say you'd risen <3
Sara - I only just now saw your comment and wanted to thank you for it and especially for the PS - it made my heart soar!
DeleteSharon, joy is what it's all about, right? Thank you for the smiles this morning :-)
DeleteYou are inspiring on several levels.
ReplyDeleteI have been searching for good blog poetry and am so glad I finally discovered yours. I just love your writing style. It feels so fresh.
And your award decline is something I think I might do in the same situation, if ever my words were to be good enough to enter contests-- and win them.
Please feel free to check out my photo-poem site, lovemorestudio.wordpress.com I would love any feedback/criticism to foster growth in my work. Thanks. ~ Jason Weaver