Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Poetic Asides Wednesday Challenge prompt "isolation"

Would That I Could Tell You That

After the dust had settled or, more accurately
The ashes, in particular, yours – your ashes

I waited for the darkness to descend and left
Town, crept back out the gravel road in your truck

Looking for the signs I’d noticed during the day
Leading me back to your trailer; I found it easily

That surprised me a little; I’d only been there once
And there was no moon, few landmarks, still

It was as if you were there, guiding me somehow
I didn’t make any wrong turns, found the old mill

That crazy odd looking thing you took care of
Guarded, I guess – for rent-free trailer space

I wish I could tell you I felt really good about it
The place where you lived; once I found it

And let myself in, found the lantern and fired it up
I wish I could say it was really homey once

The glow of the lantern filled the trailer
And that even though it was near freezing

It was all cosy in there and your sleeping bag
Made for sub-arctic temperatures was warm enough

I wish I could say I thought it was a nice way to live
But really, as I sat there on your filthy bunk

Studying your used bottles of oxygen, leaning like drunks
Against the corner of the trailer and each other

All I felt was chilled to the bone and sadder than sad
And so alone, more alone than I’d ever felt before

I wish I could say you and I were different enough
That I knew you wouldn’t feel like that out there

You and your dog – no wonder you always had to have
Yourself a dog, and treated your dog like family

Kathy, Spike and finally, Simon – they were your family
Weren’t they? After all – when you came into money

That little bit of cash from the government – whose teeth
Did you get fixed? Yours? Nope – Simon’s – just like a parent

I wish I could say I understand you now but I don’t
I never really did but I never really needed to either

I wish I knew you never felt alone or lonely, or for want
Of a better word, isolated – especially way out there

By the railroad tracks in the middle of nowhere
But none of us goes through life without feeling

Like that sometimes, and you knew that better
Than most – I wish I could say it made us closer
But we both know that just would not be true.

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