Sunday, September 2, 2012

LAST SCENE













Under an autumn sky smudged amber
Going on nine o'clock, half past twilight
She gasses the old mauve Buick
At the last self-serve on the way
Out of town -

She smacks at droning but harmless bugs landing
on the stalk of her smooth white neck
And keeps shifting; stands with one
dirty bare foot covering the other, then
changes
Watches the numbers flip over
on the gas pump, notes the ping announcing
every gallon added,
Jerks the nozzle out as if startled at the final one,
A faint dribble of fuel scents the air, runs down
the side of the car

Bill paid, she refreshes "Sweetheart Pink" lips
in her rearview,
Puts it in gear, peels out into the night
The dust chasing her out to the two-lane
the only evidence she was ever there

S.E.Ingraham©



18 comments:

  1. No evidence, but we were right there...B.

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  2. Little pleasures to be able to escape at random moments to points known only to ourselves and our imaginations...

    Thanks for visiting and enjoying:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/09/sw-72-doughboy.html

    When I was growing up it was the "Pull my finger routine!" - I like barking spiders better. We also try to 'pass off' the ball to 'other' critters :)

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  3. Oh, Sharon... you never disappoint with your vivid poetry. Amazing piece.

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  4. Love this vivid picture. This woman is on a mission...to get somewhere or away from something. And I think she'll make it. Fine wordling.

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  5. I never knew filling up with gas could sound/be so interesting :) You made it sound like it is. As Mary says, she seems as if she is on a mission, you go girl!
    Very nice write :)

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  6. Love the mystery to this, Sharon.

    Pamela

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  7. A very clear and vivid snapshot of a life in one ordinary moment. Yet somehow leaves the reader with numerous questions and wondering. Smoothly delivered, smoothly left.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/09/02/unknowing-flight/

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  8. "Vivid" seems to be the key word -- it's what came to mind as I reached the end of your poem. The details you added from the sound of the ping to the smell of the dribble...all came together to make me feel as if I had been standing next to her.

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  9. I love the old mauve Buick, and the way her sweetheart pink lips complete the piece, before she raises dust. You images are strong, Sharon.

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  10. detailed account of an ordinary event.....we so often do such things without thought - but the 'devil's in the details'

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  11. Sharon! Exquisite little cameo of a much more detailed and powerful story. Hopefully, we get to have more revealed in your worded wonder. You go!

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  12. Detailed and concise yet i linger for more or am i greedy

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  13. Sounds like the beginning of an intriguing movie!

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  14. Sharon, I've felt and acted on this intense desire to 'blow town.' Every moment was familiar and so damned incredible! Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/05/nurse-in-the-field-afghanistan/

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  15. I LOVE, love, LoVe, this. You just captured this whole scene. Filled me right up too! Now I want to be off riding in the car with the "sweet heart" pink lipped lady.

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  16. Thanks all for coming to the outskirts of town with me and the gal blowing town ... or was she? I could not decide whether to title this "Last Seen" or, as I did, "Last Scene" - the first gives the poem the flavour I originally intended it to have ... as in, she was never seen again and no-one ever really knows what happened to her ... but a slight title change and it became slightly less sinister but more mysterious too I think. Thanks for all the feedback and insight - as always, the most valuable part of the exercise, I find.

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