Sunday, May 19, 2013

A TOUCH OF GOLD













Out the window a street-lamp teases her vision
It hovers in the blazing corals that are sunset's
nebulous leavings, becoming almost opaque
in the breath of dusk just before the slab
of true darkness readies to crush the day

She likes to watch the street-lamp, timing its
various torch-like permutations against the sky's
back-drops, the bleak grayness between the corals
and the real deep black, the touch of gold
the lamp appears to hold once it flickers
alone, the only brightness to finally cut the dark.


13 comments:

  1. I really liked this piece as I could imagine the scene as darkness fell. Though being picky I wanted the last four words to read "finally cut the dark."

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    1. thanks for this feedback oldegg, as I went back and forth about this wording; the way I have it now reads clumsily to me and sometimes I prefer that but I think you're right, I will do a rewording...thanks again!

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  2. I particularly like the second verse.

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  3. Intriguing. Just read a novel in which one of the characters spends all of her time waiting at the window for a man the rest of the town knows will never come for her. Your poem felt familiar for that reason. Love how well you planted the words into the fading light of the day. Very seeable, with a sort of hushed tone as those imparting a secret.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/mizfit-on-remembering/

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  4. That "finally" is an interesting choice. The hard chop softened with a trailing "ly".

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  5. Beautiful poem. I like the picture too.

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  6. the touch of gold
    the lamp appears to hold
    once it flickers alone,
    the only brightness
    to cut the dark

    The strength of one special person can be unusual. Once it extends its help it alone can be a bastion of defence. Nicely SE

    Hank

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  7. I often time nebulous fascinations,myself.

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  8. Perfect description: "blazing corals that are sunset's nebulous leavings" - really wonderful piece.

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  9. 'sunset's
    nebulous leavings'
    paints a perfect picture...

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  10. Beautiful light painted against the darkness. This is wonderful description, Sharon.

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  11. Beautiful imagery throughout, Sharon.

    Pamela

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